Tarparpgeb is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, caring lobster.

Tarparpgeb created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarparpgeb, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarparpgeb, it will turn you into a rock.

Tarparpgeb's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Tarparpgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Tarparpgeb on top of all buildings.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not take Tarparpgeb's name in vain.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never wear white rings.