Safjinnib is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, wise crab.

Safjinnib created gold two years ago.

If you believe in Safjinnib, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Safjinnib, he will come to you in dreams.

Safjinnib's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Safjinnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.