Narbatnur is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unthoughtful crab.

Narbatnur created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narbatnur, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Narbatnur, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Narbatnur's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Narbatnur's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat figs.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Narbatnur in the centre of the settlement.