Shavyartom Mitbepxen is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, awe-inspiring dryad.

Shavyartom Mitbepxen created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavyartom Mitbepxen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Shavyartom Mitbepxen, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Shavyartom Mitbepxen's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Shavyartom Mitbepxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near pigs while wearing violet kilts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your back.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always obey Shavyartom Mitbepxen's priests.