Guttoflop is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful naga.

Guttoflop created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Guttoflop, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Guttoflop, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Guttoflop's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Guttoflop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never point your chest toward the east during prayer.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Never cross mountains at dusk.

5. Never gather five goats near wells.