Afcutwab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, selfish mouse.

Afcutwab created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Afcutwab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Afcutwab, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Afcutwab's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Afcutwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near horses.

2. Never feed parsnips to turtles while wearing coats.

3. Always wear white.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not kill whales.