Lagpagcarpin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, confident horse.

Lagpagcarpin created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagpagcarpin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lagpagcarpin, he will jump up and down on your head.

Lagpagcarpin's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Lagpagcarpin's Holy Commandments

1. Lagpagcarpin loves frogs, so they must be respected.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Run away if four moths approach from the south.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.