Yambamvedstrag Hamveenfabtalsasnegsand is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-powerful walrus.

Yambamvedstrag Hamveenfabtalsasnegsand created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yambamvedstrag Hamveenfabtalsasnegsand, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yambamvedstrag Hamveenfabtalsasnegsand, she will turn you into a puffin.

Yambamvedstrag Hamveenfabtalsasnegsand's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Yambamvedstrag Hamveenfabtalsasnegsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.