Kennullton is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, happy giraffe.

Kennullton created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kennullton, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kennullton, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kennullton's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Kennullton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

2. Never cross rivers at midday.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always obey Kennullton's priests.

5. You must never eat peanuts.