Naktonkjigbem is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, generous fairy.

Naktonkjigbem created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Naktonkjigbem, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Naktonkjigbem, she will turn you into a slug.

Naktonkjigbem's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Naktonkjigbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Naktonkjigbem on top of all buildings.