Sismegdotmap is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, strong slug.

Sismegdotmap created the Tadpole Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sismegdotmap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sismegdotmap, she will throw large rocks at you.

Sismegdotmap's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sismegdotmap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about dark matter near goats while wearing cyan trousers and balancing four zinc spheres on your feet.

3. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.