Orthig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring shark.

Orthig created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Orthig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Orthig, it will destroy your home planet.

Orthig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Orthig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry pigs.

2. Orthig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must pray to Orthig five times a day.

4. Never paint your head green.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.