Bast is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing snail.

Bast created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bast, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bast, he will laugh at you.

Bast's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bast's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Always look after injured voles.

5. Always pray immersed in water.