Arfcudcemyak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic lizard.

Arfcudcemyak created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfcudcemyak, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Arfcudcemyak, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arfcudcemyak's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Arfcudcemyak's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six doves approach from the east.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Never record names.