Bestteenfud is a god.

She takes the form of a large, competent cobra.

Bestteenfud created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestteenfud, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bestteenfud, she will destroy your home planet.

Bestteenfud's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bestteenfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bestteenfud on top of all buildings.

5. Always share onions with strangers, but never with goats.