Kimpasbantif is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unsympathetic lion.

Kimpasbantif created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimpasbantif, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kimpasbantif, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kimpasbantif's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Kimpasbantif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near hamsters while wearing blue stockings.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not shave your arms.