Bossliklun Bimbamnel is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, amazing fish.

Bossliklun Bimbamnel created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossliklun Bimbamnel, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bossliklun Bimbamnel, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Bossliklun Bimbamnel's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bossliklun Bimbamnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near tapirs while wearing cyan hats and balancing three platinum spheres on your head.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.