Lagfetfub is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, annoying gerbil.

Lagfetfub created the Black Eye Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagfetfub, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lagfetfub, he will turn you into a rock.

Lagfetfub's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Lagfetfub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snakes.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Never go into orange rooms.