Talnurlsas is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, calm gerbil.

Talnurlsas created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talnurlsas, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Talnurlsas, she will turn you into a worm.

Talnurlsas' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Talnurlsas' Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Talnurlsas in the centre of the settlement.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.