Wigdutkan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, effective snail.

Wigdutkan created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigdutkan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wigdutkan, he will turn you into a dog.

Wigdutkan's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wigdutkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. You must pray to Wigdutkan three times a day.