Wigdutkan is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely small, effective
snail.
Wigdutkan created viruses seven billion years ago.
If you believe in
Wigdutkan, he will give you a free planet.
If you do not believe in
Wigdutkan, he will turn you into a dog.
Wigdutkan's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.
Wigdutkan's Holy Commandments1. Do not covet oxen.
2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.
3. Never pour water over plants.
4. Never think about archaea.
5. You must pray to Wigdutkan three times a day.