Wapmegkik is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, intelligent snake.

Wapmegkik created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Wapmegkik, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wapmegkik, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wapmegkik's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Wapmegkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.