Matkemlikmummipveenfebbun is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, astonishing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Matkemlikmummipveenfebbun created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matkemlikmummipveenfebbun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matkemlikmummipveenfebbun, it will jump up and down on your head.

Matkemlikmummipveenfebbun's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Matkemlikmummipveenfebbun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never fashion tools from ash.

3. Do not place parsnips upon stone.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.