Bepdusstarg Tannartxinquat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, effective hydra.

Bepdusstarg Tannartxinquat created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepdusstarg Tannartxinquat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bepdusstarg Tannartxinquat, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bepdusstarg Tannartxinquat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bepdusstarg Tannartxinquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

3. Do not name children after voles.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.