Mondontit is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, smart hamster.

Mondontit created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Mondontit, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mondontit, she will be very unhappy.

Mondontit's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Mondontit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from purple goats, for they are unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Never skip in the presence of mice.