Vinpodgadgilnarlbumtonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing centaur.

Vinpodgadgilnarlbumtonk created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinpodgadgilnarlbumtonk, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vinpodgadgilnarlbumtonk, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Vinpodgadgilnarlbumtonk's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vinpodgadgilnarlbumtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.

2. Always act with purity when addressing children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vinpodgadgilnarlbumtonk.

4. Do not fashion tools from lead.

5. Never sing in the presence of seals.