Tapkiping is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, stupid weasel.

Tapkiping created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapkiping, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tapkiping, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tapkiping's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tapkiping's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never sing in the presence of porpoises.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always wash your feet before prayer.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tapkiping.