Cedonthiv is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unjust lobster.

Cedonthiv created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedonthiv, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cedonthiv, she will turn you into a rock.

Cedonthiv's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Cedonthiv's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never wear turquoise hats.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

5. Respect your elders.