Zaksisbap is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, cheerful badger.

Zaksisbap created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zaksisbap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zaksisbap, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Zaksisbap's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Zaksisbap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not kill rats.

3. Never hurt sharks.

4. Never run near tapirs.

5. You must pray to Zaksisbap four times a day.