Genbumjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, omnipotent armadillo.

Genbumjarn created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Genbumjarn, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Genbumjarn, she will destroy your home planet.

Genbumjarn's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Genbumjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ants.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Run away from pink doves, for they are unholy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.