Megbatnel Nurtcemquim is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, compassionate dryad.

Megbatnel Nurtcemquim created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Megbatnel Nurtcemquim, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Megbatnel Nurtcemquim, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Megbatnel Nurtcemquim's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Megbatnel Nurtcemquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt rats.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Always count to four before sleeping.

4. Do not wear ear rings marked with black.

5. Never wear blue shirts.