Tabnurcem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong centaur.

Tabnurcem created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Tabnurcem, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tabnurcem, she will turn you into a duck.

Tabnurcem's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tabnurcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dogs.

2. Never think about dark energy near voles while wearing brown jumpers and balancing six platinum spheres on your feet.

3. Never talk about spacetime near snakes while wearing purple kilts.

4. Run away from pink hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Tabnurcem loves dolphins, so they must be respected.