Fag Garwitdan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured chicken.

Fag Garwitdan created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fag Garwitdan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fag Garwitdan, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fag Garwitdan's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fag Garwitdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never hurt snakes.

5. Respect your elders.