Quatfom is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, confident grasshopper.

Quatfom created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatfom, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quatfom, it will turn you into a plant.

Quatfom's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Quatfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not hurt snakes.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always count to five before sleeping.