Dimtalkap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unjust wren.

Dimtalkap created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dimtalkap, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dimtalkap, it will turn you into a tree.

Dimtalkap's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dimtalkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near porpoises while wearing pink shorts and balancing eight iron spheres on your arms.

2. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not record secrets concerning stars.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.