Futcitsak is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring cat.

Futcitsak created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futcitsak, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Futcitsak, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Futcitsak's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Futcitsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Futcitsak.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near birds while wearing gray ear rings and balancing four tin spheres on your arms.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.