Labcitneg is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, intelligent badger.

Labcitneg created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Labcitneg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Labcitneg, she will torture you forever.

Labcitneg's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Labcitneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans.

2. Erect six platinum sculptures of Labcitneg on top of important buildings.

3. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Never point your chest toward the north during prayer.