Vanbabpan is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, blissful hydra.

Vanbabpan created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanbabpan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vanbabpan, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vanbabpan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Vanbabpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about fluid mechanics.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not keep three tapirs in a large pit.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never think about spacetime near horses while wearing fawn shirts and balancing four nickel spheres on your hands.