Flaptifcutstik is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, happy dove.

Flaptifcutstik created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flaptifcutstik, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flaptifcutstik, he will turn you into a mole.

Flaptifcutstik's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Flaptifcutstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flaptifcutstik.