Talsab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, clever crane.

Talsab created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Talsab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Talsab, it will boil you in a big pot.

Talsab's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Talsab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

5. Do not stand on grass.