Nurlgutbap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, kind naga.

Nurlgutbap created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlgutbap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nurlgutbap, she will turn you into a puffin.

Nurlgutbap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nurlgutbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.