Stiptonkpasged is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, confident horse.

Stiptonkpasged created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stiptonkpasged, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stiptonkpasged, she will turn you into a goat.

Stiptonkpasged's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Stiptonkpasged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near aardvarks while wearing yellow shoes and balancing five platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Put Stiptonkpasged first in all things.

5. Never write about nebulae.