Pogvigyog is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered walrus.

Pogvigyog created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogvigyog, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pogvigyog, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Pogvigyog's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Pogvigyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Pogvigyog must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about gravity near ants while wearing mauve shorts and balancing five aluminium spheres on your head.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.