Gompombarn is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tranquil hyena.

Gompombarn created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gompombarn, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gompombarn, it will send minions to preach to you.

Gompombarn's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gompombarn's Holy Commandments

1. Gompombarn must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear white skirts.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.