Cum is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, resourceful gnu.

Cum created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Cum, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cum, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cum's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Cum's Holy Commandments

1. Cum loves cats, so they must be respected.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Pray towards the west.