Yoknegfoncadyattkamflap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, confident giraffe.

Yoknegfoncadyattkamflap created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yoknegfoncadyattkamflap, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yoknegfoncadyattkamflap, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Yoknegfoncadyattkamflap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Yoknegfoncadyattkamflap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine sharks approach from the south.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

4. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

5. Always look after injured turtles.