Jenpagortbarncuss is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, proud hare.

Jenpagortbarncuss created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenpagortbarncuss, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jenpagortbarncuss, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jenpagortbarncuss' most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jenpagortbarncuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Never think ill of sick snakes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near dolphins while wearing gray shoes and balancing eight iron spheres on your arms.

5. Never feed bread to cats while wearing white kilts.