Diss Fomfempopsafgemrillvanteen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witty swallow.

Diss Fomfempopsafgemrillvanteen created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Diss Fomfempopsafgemrillvanteen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Diss Fomfempopsafgemrillvanteen, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Diss Fomfempopsafgemrillvanteen's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Diss Fomfempopsafgemrillvanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs red.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Diss Fomfempopsafgemrillvanteen.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.