Jigflannab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, generous chinchilla.

Jigflannab created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigflannab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jigflannab, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jigflannab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Jigflannab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions on days of mourning.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jigflannab.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Jigflannab on top of all buildings.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.