Gemhonweg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able meerkat.

Gemhonweg created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemhonweg, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gemhonweg, he will turn you into a mole.

Gemhonweg's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Gemhonweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

2. Retreat if three swans approach from the east.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

5. You must never eat grapes.