Yoggudpastamcudjenpodben is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unsympathetic crab.

Yoggudpastamcudjenpodben created life seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yoggudpastamcudjenpodben, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yoggudpastamcudjenpodben, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yoggudpastamcudjenpodben's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Yoggudpastamcudjenpodben's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Never think about spacetime near snails while wearing violet shorts and balancing eight tin spheres on your neck.

5. Always take life seriously.