Cammutvol is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, irritating faun.

Cammutvol created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cammutvol, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cammutvol, it will have a low opinion of you.

Cammutvol's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Cammutvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Never travel toward the south during winter.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Cammutvol in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cammutvol.

5. Pray towards the west.