Titsinvil is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, benevolent crow.

Titsinvil created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Titsinvil, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Titsinvil, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Titsinvil's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Titsinvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed tomatoes to turtles while wearing indigo hats.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never sit in holy places.