Doncutvon is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient monkey.

Doncutvon created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Doncutvon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Doncutvon, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Doncutvon's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Doncutvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Doncutvon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Never look at planets.