Fasfitgess is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tranquil pigeon.

Fasfitgess created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Fasfitgess, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fasfitgess, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fasfitgess' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fasfitgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Fasfitgess loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Never feed rice to seals while wearing blue kilts.

5. Always help sick swans.