Gabbonvab is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating cat.

Gabbonvab created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Gabbonvab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gabbonvab, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gabbonvab's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gabbonvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

2. Never feed onions to swans while wearing gray hats.

3. Retreat if seven sharks approach from the west.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.