Tik is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, impressive lion.

Tik created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Tik, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tik, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Tik's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tik three times a day.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.