Gabcumsak Tanbuscundog Tabcissnab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, resourceful dryad.

Gabcumsak Tanbuscundog Tabcissnab created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabcumsak Tanbuscundog Tabcissnab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gabcumsak Tanbuscundog Tabcissnab, he will turn you into a slug.

Gabcumsak Tanbuscundog Tabcissnab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gabcumsak Tanbuscundog Tabcissnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to doves while wearing blue jumpers.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Never eat spinach on fasting days.